There are so many depressing songs and films discuss traumatic breakups. Everyone has felt this pain at some point in their lives. That's not much consolation, though, if you're the one trying to figure out how to move on after a breakup. The sad fact is that time will be the only thing you need to recover your happiness.
Every person resolves issues in their own time. You will ultimately need time to mourn your lost love and mend all the wounds and doubts that the breakup has caused. Some things will take longer than others. You won't truly be able to open up and love someone again until that time. Our culture moves at a breakneck pace. The majority of us have gnat-like attention spans. It's the same when we want pain to stop; we want the suffering to end right away.
The sad thing is that a lot of people try to stop their pain in the wrong ways and end up hurting not only themselves but also other people they come into contact with. It's a truism that following a bad breakup, someone will go out and tie one on while intoxicated. The issue is that you don't actually feel any better as a result of this. Alcohol is a depressant, which many people are unaware of, and it will only make your pain worse. You must rethink your post-breakup strategy in light of the embarrassment of drunken dialing and the hangover. Any warm body is another pain reliever that many people who are going through a breakup use.
Some people believe that if they find someone to have sex with right away, they will completely forget about their ex (they are also secretly hoping that their ex will hear all about it and get jealous). The issue with this tactic is that it doesn't work either, in addition to the fact that it can be risky and that you run the risk of hurting the new person you're with. Similar to overindulging in alcohol, if you meet someone new before you are ready, you will only compare them to your ex. You won't be able to stop thinking about your ex; instead, you'll be thinking about them more and elevating them in your thoughts.
Even though it hurts, the best course of action is to confront your suffering. Only by doing this will you be able to deal with it completely and heal sufficiently to form healthy relationships in the future. Spend time doing the things that make you happy, especially those that you weren't able to do while you and your ex were dating. While it may not significantly hasten your recovery, doing this will give you some much-needed distractions during the healing process and significantly fewer regrets once you're ready to move on.
Learning what not to do is just as important—if not more so—than learning what to do when trying to move on from a breakup. Just keep in mind that once this is all over, you want to be able to see your own reflection in the mirror.
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